Although we have been raised with the belief that abandoning ourselves for others is highly valued, I would suggest asking yourself: How do I feel in my body when I put others before myself? Do I feel resentment? Does it serve to bolster my sense of worth? Am I resisting setting a boundary on my energy/time to avoid conflict(aka: being a “People Pleaser”?)
As I have sat with these questions I have observed that this conditioning has caused me much resentment, which has expressed itself as alot of constriction…tense discomfort in my body(especially belly). I deeply believed, that when I put others before myself, it somehow increased my worth as person.
What I have come to realize is: I don’t have to DO ANYTHING to be of value. I AM inherently WORTHY. When I do things for others out of love for them, with plenty of time and energy to do it, I feel a much greater sense of wellbeing.
Practicing DOING for others, from a place of love (for them as well as for myself) has been instrumental in helping me to maintain positive mental health. I make it a point NOT to stretch myself beyond my present capacity to give. I honor myself first, which prevents resentment and enhances a sense of good mental health and well being.
I have learned, “FEED YOURSELF FIRST…nourish yourself with daily acts of self compassion, self acceptance and boundaries to nurture positive mental health.
It has been my experience, that when I put myself first, ensuring my energy, needs/desires, boundaries are met, I can serve others from a more genuine loving place…not from a place of obligation and expectation.
This new way of being feels SO liberating and joyful:-) Although we have been conditioned to put others first, we can give ourselves permission to re-examine old beliefs that deplete us and make healthier, more expensive adjustments.
FEED others by FIRST being FULL yourself. We can’t lovingly care for one another when we are showing up FAMISHED ourselves…
Your mental health matters:-) Feed yourself with healthy boundaries, self acceptance, self compassion, time to play…and anything else you need:-)
I’d love to support you in your efforts to blossom into your Highest Self. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to work with me 1:1♥️☮️