Are you a parent who could use some support? … Do you know someone who is feeling challenged in their efforts to raise respectful children? I would like to invite you to check out my workshop:My Child, My Mirror:-)
This workshop serves to enhance your parenting skills by developing a greater awareness of how to use the challenges you are experiencing with your child, as signs or information that can direct you to the issues within yourself that need to be healed. As you heal your own issues, it increases your knowledge of how to successfully nurture your child…body, mind and spirit.
As you examine and transform your own belief system, perceptions and conditioning, you become better equipped to be a good role model to teach your kid effective mental health skills.
This workshop offers support in discerning, examining and transforming your limited thoughts, perceptions and feelings that obstruct experiences of fulfilment, empowerment and joy.
When parents do the work to heal their own wounded Inner Child, they can successfully raise the children that they birthed, with much greater ease.
In My Child, My Mirror, you can expect to receive:
Opportunity to be heard with compassion and understanding as you describe your challenges and determine whe type of support you need.
Care and coaching to instruct you how to recognize how your child’s behavior is a reflection of unresolved, childhood issues within yourself.
Tools and strategies to help you become aware and apply insight you have gained to change behavior and increase experienced, positive outcomes.
Develop personalized strategies and tools to help manage your child’s behavior.
Opportunities to connect with other parents who are experiencing similar struggles.
Contact Jenn @email@example.com for more information about participating in My Child, My Mirror Workshop
When you notice that initial trigger of fear, anger or disappointment how do you respond to it? Oftentimes, through no fault of our own, we react from a conditioned, knee jerk state that is most likely, an ineffective coping strategy.
Unfortunately, most of us have not grown up with adults who knew how to modeled the skill of self awareness,nor have we witnessed the empowering outcomes that it facilitates.
Here are 3 steps I use to greatly reduced my suffering when triggered:
Cultivate body awareness: Bring your attention to your body, where is your body feeling triggered? Are you holding your breath? …If so, pause and respond by taking a few deep breaths to settle and recenter yourself…Are you tightening your jaw, shoulders, back? Yes? Then take a moment to soften and relax your tense body parts. Here are some more ways to sotthe a tense body quickly:
A. Imagining breathing energy and calm into the effected parts is often helpful.
Also placing a hand to heart and a hand to belly while breathing is soothing.
B. Give yourself a hug. Casually cross your arms. Squeeze your shoulders and/or arms. This quick act is highly regulating to the nervous system.
C. If you are in a safe place, home, bathroom massage the tense area for a few seconds. Apply oil or cream for additional soothing effect:-) if possible.
D. Stretch: tune into the body, where and how does it want to stretch. You can stretch the hips out by alternating crossing your legs while sitting at your desk(hips are huge storage containers for stress), stretch arms out wide and/or up(this is so great to open the chest/heart center) Trust that your body will inform you how it wants to stretch and listen.
E. Earthing: Walk or sit with your bare feet on soft grassy ground (I am earthing right now as I write this) You can visualize the healing energy of the earth being absorbed into the body from your feet, but honestly, I have also experienced the calming effects of this practice without this added step as well.
F .Accupressure: notice the point of tension in your body and just press at this point. If you want you can also massage in a circular motion at the tension point. You will experience a desire to release a deep breath as it begins to work.
When your body is experiencing a little less charge after you tended to the tension, you can move on to the next step, which is…
Change the Lens of Perception:The Lens of Perception is the way we see and understand any given situation. When we are feeling offended, we are usually operating from the perception of our Inner Child.
Realize that most things people do or say that are offensive, have absolutely nothing to do with your worth, or ANYTHING about you. Once you truly EMBODY this belief…this truth… life becomes ALOT simpler.
When people offend you, it is often only a reflection of their own experience of unhealed, unresolved trauma.(This phrase has served as my mantra for several months with great success)When you remind yourseslf not to take it personally, it is easier to access feelings of compassion towards the person behaving in unkind ways.
This is not to say you shouldnt establish a boundary if it is called for, I am only suggesting it is possible to offer compassion AS WELL AS set a boundary if needed.
Always keep in mind hurt people hurt people, and compassion comes with minimal effort.
I believe compassion and empathy are super powers. Once I began to understand that people who act unkind are really in discomfort and/or pain, it made it much easier to access and offer compassion. Since I started this practice, my sense of ease has greatly accelerated. (Just an fyi though, compassion is a practice and it DEFINATELY does not happen overnight…at least not from my experience…Life definitely gives us ample opportunities to master this lesson though:)
I found that utilizing curiosity to cultivate compassion was helpful. I would often ponder, “I wonder what happened to make her so OCD…so controlling…so angry…etc” When you really consider the many things that could have happened to someone to influence their behavior, it helps you more easily access a bit of compassion towards them.
Self Talk(Access the Inner Parent): I’m sure you can think of a number of times your parents said(or didn’t say) something comforting or supportive to you when you were suffering. Their reactions DIRECTLY influence the way we NOW speak to ourselves.
They didn’t know how to do it, so they couldn’t teach us. Most likely they didn’t have the communication skills nor the capacity to handle challenging emotion. It is all good. It is nobody’s fault.
So now, we have the opportunity to develop our Inner Parent. We do this by becoming clearer about what we need when we are suffering and then offering it to ourselves when our Inner Child is being triggered.
Often times we are triggered as adults because we didn’t have the tools to process and move through the feelings from the initial experience as children. The trigger reminds us that this feeling/experience needs more attention.
It is incredibly healing when YOU are able to support YOURSELF during a trigger, by working with your Inner Parent. Again, this process takes time to learn, so give yourself alot of compassion and patience as you develop greater mastery.
One of the ways I began to discover and develop my Inner Parent was to ask myself some questions when I was feeling triggered. For example:
….”What comfort do I WISH someone would tell me right now?”——>Whatever it is, offer it to yourself. (EX: “It’s ok…I SEE you are hurting…I’ve got you…You are worthy…this is just a little bump, you’ve got this…I’m sorry you are sad, angry,frustrated,”( whatever). Really offer yourself deep self com-
Passion for your suffering.
Basically, Acknowledge the feeling you are having as totally valid and express it to yourself. I like to say, “I see you, I know, this is hard…I know you are hurting…this feels heavy…I feel you…I’m sorry you’re sad/tired/hurt/disappointed” .
Allow your Inner Parent to witness and give the child permission to feel what he/she is experiencing, no censoring.
…Next, you can ask, ”What do I wish someone would DO for me right now to soothe/comfort me right now?—>Whatever the Inner Child says, let your Inner Adult offer that comfort. (That might look like a self embrace, permission to have a good cry or punch a pillow, it might be holding space for yourself, by taking a soothing bath or stretching, maybe it looks like permission to take a nap or take a break…honor the request that the Inner Child asks for as best as you can. If it isn’t convenient in the moment, commit to giving yourself space/self care when you get home)Permission for me was often what my Inner Child wanted…permission to take a break, do something fun. We often force ourselves to do so many things we THINK we have to do, but really this is not true.
The more we normalize meeting our own needs, the easier it becomes to respond to. Please know, that you NEVER have to wait for someone else to comfort you. When you develop your Inner Parent, it is truly empowering to meet your needs/desires on your own terms. Yes, it is nice when others offer comfort, but you dont have to depend on THEM and wait in suffering.
I hope you find these suggestions useful. If you would like to go deeper into strategies and tools to cope with Triggers, check out my workshop on Processing and contact Jenn at firstname.lastname@example.org❤
Journaling is touted to be one of the best tools to use in order to enhance mental health, however, I believe this strategy is often under utilized. Over the past several years I have implemented a practice where every morning, in addition to free writing about my feelings, thoughts, experiences etc, I REVIEW what I wrote about the day before(sometimes weeks before;-) and DO something to address the issues that are causing me distress. I call this Journaling Method: Write, Review, Do. Here are some suggestions how to practice it:
Journaling is a great tool to get stressful feelings and thoughts out of your mind and onto paper where you can see them with greater clarity. Just the act of writing… purging challenging feelings and experiences onto the page, offers relief to an overwhelmed mind and nervous system. Writing, like all movement facilitates the flow of feeling, unclogs stagnation.
If you desire to benefit from more bang for your buck, as far as a mental health strategy goes, don’t stop after writing, scribbling all your troubles down. Take the next step to actually RESOLVING problems.
Begin a daily practice of REVIEWING what you wrote the day before. When you notice patterns in thought, feeling, behavior, create an affirmation, intention, practice prompt.
For example, after rereading some of my entries, I noticed a theme of fear around being seen in my truth.
In my journal, I wrote the affirmation: “I am SAFE to express my full, creative feminine self.” I was experiencing fear/anxiety around wearing what I felt inspired to wear, putting creative work out there to be seen, speaking my truth.
By turning my issue into an affirmation, it inspired me to go about my day inspired and motivated to DEMONSTRATE this affirmation to be true, thereby, slowly resolving my fear of being seen.
I WANTED to return to this prompt in my journal everyday to document and prove to myself that I was putting in the work to overcome this fear. This made me feel successful and encouraged me to keep working towards mastery of this issue. By using this journaling strategy it helped me to clearly see my issues and take action to resolve them.
I recommend writing your affirmation/intention, the date and description of each experience you have had that demonstrates your efforts to overcoming obstacles.
Action you demonstrated that corresponds to the affirmation/intention
If you REALLY want to get the most transformation, empowerment, personal growth from journaling, try implementing Write, Review, Do:-)
Drop a comment and let me know how this works for you. Also, check out my Processing Workshop if you want to improve in your ability to better process feeling, thought, experiences<3
I would like to invite you to participate in the Gathering Of The Free & Fearless Feminine.
It is my desire to organize a women’s group that encourages and supports the development of personal growth.
As women become more committed to their own path of personal development, and have access to support, I believe it will be of great benefit to not only the women doing the difficult work of transformation, but also for families and communities.
It is my intention to establish and maintain safe space and time for women to come together…to receive and offer one another support, encouragement and inspiration along the sometimes challenging path of Self Actualization.
In the Gathering of the Free & Fearless Feminie, we will learn new ways to resolve old challenges while exploring and examining the negative influence of limited beliefs, conditioning and perceptions that have obstructed growth, joy and a sense of purpose.
We will learn skills, tools and strategies to cope with obstacles and work towards creating a greater sense of ease and wellness in our daily lives.
We will share in the joys, and celebrate our individual, as well as our collective successes:-)
In this day and age where there is so much division, connection within a group of women who seek to grow, learn and become more of who they truly are, is potent medicine.
Below is a small sampling of topics we will discuss and skills we will practice developing:
Enhancing Self Worth
Developing a greater sense of Empowerment
Developing a greater sense of Joy
Discovering and Living your Purpose
Body, Mind, Spirit connection to improve well being.
Some of the activities we will use to facilitate healing/growth are:
Journal prompts/free writing
Arts and crafts projects that encourage the examination of limited beliefs, conditioning etc, such as creating masks(you are ALWAYS encoufaged to participate in only what feels right for you)
Creative/Expressive Movement Activities/Exercises
Creating with nature(sticks, stones, leaves, flowers etc)
Please contact Jenn at jlbrouha@gmail. com, Subject line: Gathering of the Free & Fearless Feminine for details ❤
Wreaths are an effective tool to represent a desire of bringing things together, making connections. You can play with the symbolism of different, vines, flowers and coordinate them with your desires or needs.
It isn’t particularly necessary to adhere to the mainstream definition of what they symbolize. You can feel into what the vine, branches, leaves, flowers represent to you personally and use them to signify that quality.
For example, I like to use the vines of the Japaneese bittersweet for several personal reasons, not necessarily resonating with what the “authorities” might determine. I enjoy working with this vine because 1. It is easily bendable, flexible. These are often qualities I am looking for in my desires. Whether it be a job that allows flexibility and freedom of schedule/routine, or in relationships. The quality of flexibility and adaptability is important. Secondly, bittersweet is one of my preferences because I love how it reaches out when it is growing as if it wants to connect with you:-) I also love that it grows towards the light and it always seems so animated to me. Again, these are all qualities I usually am seeking in my desires, so for me bittersweet is my go to for wreaths.
I have also used apple tree branches as they symbolize healing and they are readily available in my yard, as are Dogwood which are great for supporting desires of love, comfort, fertility(of babies OR ideas:-)
Protection as well as Banishing(old habits, beliefs, conditioning etc)
Likewise, you can research which flowers or other trinkets correspond with your desires and add them into your wreath.
Here are the steps to the Wreath Ritual
Collect the items you intend to use. These might include branches, flowers, wire, trinkets, glue, scissors. It might help to make a list so you are able to create and focus on your vision/desire while you are creating instead of being distracted from needing to obtain items you forgot to grab. It might ruin the flow of the ritual if all items aren’t gathered from the beginning. Also, it is a great help to practicing mindfulness by preparing ahead of the actual creation.
Take some breaths, get grounded and clear in your desire/intention. For example, on one of my wreaths, my intention was to organize a Woman’s Group/Circle. I took some deep breaths, clearly visualized myself as a leader of a Woman’s Group, having fun, feeling connected, supporting others etc.
Try to keep your desire clear in your mind and hold the feeling you want to experience from this intention.
You might want to think of a catchy mantra to say in your head as you are creating your wreath. It doesnt have to be anything elaborate. It could be as simple as “I call in _____.” When I was creating the wreath to manifest a Woman’s Group, I affirmed, “Wild, wonderful, warm hearted women, come now unto me, I seek you and you seek me” as I held the vision of participating a supportive women’s group. Have fun with it. Create a mantra that feels aligned with your personal desire and the way you naturally speak.
Create your wreath as you like. Paying attention to places where you can amplify the energy of your desire, such as when you twist or weave the wreath. You can use this action to symbolize weaving your desire into being. You can also use the act of connecting the ends to form your circle as a type of affirmation that what you desire is affirmed by the connection of the two ends. You can also focus your energy when you are connecting the flowers and/or trinkets that have particular meaning. Use your breath to channel your intention into the wreath.
Notice feelings, sensations, ideas that arise during the making of your wreath. I like to jot them down and document them to see what blooms from them.
Hang your wreath somewhere you will see it and affirm your intention in the present when you pass it, or you might want to repeat your affirmation you used during the making of your wreath. Let your wreath be a reminder of your desire/intention coming into the present.